Bottled Up

I’ve spent years hiding away my feelings underneath my pillow. All I’ve ever done is bottle things up inside me only to explode, every night, into an erupting volcano of emotions. I always thought complexity of one’s brain was something very rare and attractive. Making things more difficult was always an appeal for I thought there was absolutely nothing valuable about minimalism. I liked chaos.

 Now? I crave simple and easy. I want people who are straightforward and honest. I’m over the “I’m too shy to really say what I mean” bullshit. I want to be as frank as I can; expressing everything going through my brain to a T. I refuse to close myself in anymore. I am going to open up. Open up to people and tell them how I really feel and what i really desire, open up to new opportunities with a mindset that trying new things is what’s going to lead me to new paths in life, open up and be as lighthearted, as expressive, as honest as i possibly can. Simple is the new black, kids.

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No Way, Norway

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                          Call me weird but I like cold.

 Call me weird but I like cold – I would much rather be wrapped up in thousand sweater-blanket combos than walk around in a tank-top, sweating my a** off.  Add great style, minimalism and a lot of sushi to that cold and I am in personal heaven a.k.a Scandinavia. Now, I already had Denmark and Sweden scratched off my checklist of places to visit and after Norway, I am finally convinced that the land of Vikings is also the land of very high-quality living and somewhat cold-hearted people.  Continue reading “No Way, Norway”

A Moment Of Silence for May

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         Graduations-they can go to hell.

I could not emphasize enough how I hate endings. I hate saying goodbyes; physically can not handle them. C a n   n o t. And as soon as May comes around and the school year comes to an end, instead of thinking of summer as the beginning of everything, I think of it as that bitch that is about to steal my consistency and friends for three whole months. Oh well.

Continue reading “A Moment Of Silence for May”

Something New

And I guess you’re trying to stay away from my type; and even though I have yet to fully comprehend what category of humans I fall into, I do know that the memory of past pain is still fresh in your mind so I keep reassuring myself that the problem is not me. Maybe there’s a reason this didn’t work out, maybe it wasn’t meant to be, or maybe the answer is simple: you never wanted anything to happen and my brain’s playing tricks on me. These irrational sentences run through my mind whenever I get a glimpse of you. I couldn’t explain them if I tried. I know I’ve said too much and felt too much in your presence, which I think is because of your undeniable charm, but could the utter openness and honesty drive a person away? We’ll soon find out.
Everything is a learning experience and if I have picked up anything on this journey seemingly with you but alone, is that I will never in a million lifetimes allow myself to be as vulnerable as your persuasive words have made me.

some sketches I made digitally

I think it’s becoming a little hobby of mine♥

Goodbye, hope to never see you again, 2016.

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I don’t know where to start. Or how to.

I don’t know if it’s worth recapping at all.

But like all the obstacles you overcome in life, this one too needs to be celebrated.

How can I describe 2016?  It has been an emotional trainwreck; a beautifully painful, traumatic, eye-opening, experience-gaining, breathtaking, flesh-burning, panic-ridden year.

Here’s a list of things that happened:

Continue reading “Goodbye, hope to never see you again, 2016.”

A Letter.

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A letter to myself.

You live in the shadows and you don’t know it yet. Trying to be something was never enough for you; you wanted to be everything. The things you tell yourself are the things told by the greatest to the weak. You can not bring yourself down like that. You never considered yourself weak. Overthinking kills and rules you. You never realized how bewitching your mind truly is. You dwell on details and your heart is so fragile, it crumbles more often that it needs to. Sadness has become your comfort and it feels strange when life actually seems heavenly.  Continue reading “A Letter.”